Moving On

It's been 22 days since I began miscarrying. I wish I could say everything is back to normal, but it is not. I am so ready to move on, but my body isn't. I find out tomorrow where my levels are and if I have to go for another blood test. I am hoping that I don't and that soon this all will be over. I really expected a miscarriage to be like a one or two day event. I never knew that it would last so long. I don't really know how to process that. I'm just glad that lately I've been distracted by some big life changes and traveling. I'm so happy to be here in DC with my friends. We had such a wonderful time tonight with some really great friends. It felt great to laugh and enjoy their company...plus they have super cute kid that just makes your heart smile! I miss my family, but it is nice to be out here for a while. 

We are also making some big changes in our life. I'm working really hard not to feel anxious about all that must be done. Plus, I am not great with change. I've gone through A LOT of it in my life, but I've never been one to handle it well. After all is done, I look back and feel happy that I made it through and we made the decisions we did, but for now I'm fighting anxiety. I keep referring to a verse in "John 14:27 -Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." 

I need to remember that the things I'm going through aren't nearly as big as I think and that God cares. He has sent a helper for me and offers me peace in the midst of what I think is craziness. :) I need to get back to reading...I've been a major quiet time slacker. I need to take the days one at a time...I've been a crazy worrier! I need to spend more time thanking God for what he is doing in my life and trusting that He is always with me. I really want to trust my husband and show him that I do by not being a crazy, anxious wife! ha! In the midst of all of this, my one prayer is that God will give us a child...or children. No matter how wild things may get, I still can't wait for the next time I see a positive pregnancy test...I so want to hold our baby in my arms. Please, Lord, give us a child. 

Thank you for our glory baby that is no longer with us. 

I want to always be thankful for that. Holding out for that peace...ready to move on.